TRUE NORTH

Is there a place 

such as True North?

Can my compass point

toward that sugar sweet?

Bees toward pollen, then

back to honeyed hive –

but I’m not like brilliant monarchs

who travel to home and back

black and gold winging

thousands mile journey

never lost. See,

they know their path.

My compass wand points every way

but the one I wish to go…

I am not that salmon

swimming to the spawning pool;

I falter, circling around

Spiraling, my ambition wanes.

Can I ever leave earth?

Fly like homing pigeon, its

pinion arrows guiding.

Lancing through frigid air

wearing tiny scroll, its

message: freedom

Or be like blind tadpole,

bottom-swimming, 

but growing, forming

legs, powerful kicks

through muddy water.

Up to surface, gasping

my gaze raised,

to see that pole star.

I break gravity,

navigate toward a kind of

heaven, to find my own

True North.

Hatshepsut

She climbed the ziggurat,

Rather, clambered up the

Polished gleaming stones

After twenty years of reign
LIfe’s journey traveled she
Ascended to the apex
Of her existence
Pinnacle attained
The pyramid power flowed
Into her waiting portals
And oneness with the
Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses
Felt close, nirvana nigh
As the arc of the sky
Wheeled above
Impaled on a shaft of sunlight
Expiring there
She was carried down
Disciples with ancient rites
To ferry her to the land beyond
Gruesome preparations
Performed with joy
Bound and wrapped
Soul trapped, yet free
Funereal procession
Priests bowing bent
Along the trail
To where the tomb had been
Prepared, fresh painted
Lapis, kohl and white
Adorned with gold
Surrounded by wealth
And needs to survive
The long afterlife,
Cuneiform convolutions
Chiseled into temples
Telling her tales,
Worshipped, cherished
Then buried far below
The aching, burning sands
Living forever
End is the beginning
And Sphynx gazes
Silently on

Petals

We are like rose petals,
First wrapped up tightly
Swaddled inside our bud
Protected and nurtured
And as we mature
We open, unfurling slowly
Seconds like hours
Each petal unique
Tender, fragile
But part of a whole
Swelling, expanding
Edges slightly curled
Catching raindrops
Turning toward sunshine
Deep, blood red
Throbbing with passion
Wide to receive
Life’s every nuance
Sometimes bruised or
Turned brittle
From another’s touch
And finally crumpling
Falling one by one
Like scattered
Words on pages
In our book of life
To blow away
On wind currents
Dessicated, deserted
On the ground
Blood red faded
Buried under earth
To join with nature
Once again
Leaving behind
Only faded memories

Half Moon Hanging

Half moon hanging
In a purple sky
Ripening but
Not yet full
Half promised dreams
Half filled glass
Halfway from Earth
To wide heavens
Travel there and
Hang awhile
Feet dangling on
The rocky edge
Gaze down to
All the million woes
That go on below
Less than half notice
Paid to each
Such pregnant pause
Are you a wax or wane?
Are you arriving
Or departing from night sky?
Half-seen behind clouds
Or pulsing brightly
Your shine half-defined
You speak of half-truths
I do not know if trust
In anything exists
When poised between
The dark and light
But still you give me
Your half-wink
On the cusp of something
Growing or going dim

Forgiveness, Or Becoming More

The first poem written oh so long ago

FORGIVENESS

The pain is entwined like bitter ivy
Wrapped around my fragile aching heart
Feel the frost of my unending doom
Icicles that stab the fragile parts

Until each molecule, fiber, vessel
Rings with peals of hopelessness
Never warmed by Godhead’s healing breath
Of sweet, loving, mercy-filled forgiveness

Anger warms the depths of icy soul
With heat to melt the frozen flesh
But it explodes inside my body whole
Fiery waves wash through me in a rush

Annihilates peace and harmony — the wound
Grabs and twists my innards in a knot
Pain showers me with endless self-loathing
Til I’m trodden down, a disappearing dot

Of nothingness, no persona left inside
A hollow fleshy shell the world denies
Await — yes there’s the breath from up above
Cool the anger, melt the frosty eyes

Clear my vision, drain my thoughts
And fill me up with wisdom and self-worth
Fragile being a seed that grows beneath the soil
Becomes the flowering bloom that signifies rebirth

And this one written recently

ON BECOMING MORE

Searching out a path
In trackless wilderness
A path to something more
Undefined, unclarified
What is that more,
Yet I am still searching

Transformation, alteration, Metamorphosis even
All of these are Change
And change is scary enough
When you come round a corner
And don’t recognize yourself
In that mirror
It startles, it shocks, produces fear.
And I’m dancing in that fear with abandon
Traveling toward that more

Each day less sure of the way
Each day more assured of the goal
To become something new
Tutelaged, edified
By ceaseless research
In library stacks
And garden nooks
That are part of my mind
Thumbing through ancient tomes
Or flying across the internet
Tracing it’s lacy web
To redefine myself

Writing the new encyclopedia of me
Each page fresh pressed and scenting
Of promise for the future
Each drop of ink
Each scrawl on paper
Speaking newness

But until I unearth and decipher
The rosetta stone of self-discovering
Translate the differing languages
That each describe a slightly different
Version of the more
That I am becoming
There is no dictionary definition
Of myself

And until I sign that Magna Carta
Peace between my queen and me
My royal mind and my serving heart
Deciding who will rule my nature
Who will guide my path
The treatise is locked away
In a vault of my design
And is no true chart
No manifesto
On becoming more

Soul Stripped Bare

Here again
Soul stripped bare
Picking at scabs
Raw and oozing
Why continue?
The cost, the benefit?
Through Pain feel more
Feel more alive,
The opposite of
Numbness equals pain;
Searching for forgiveness
Salvation just a word
Give it meaning and depth
Searching for a god or goddess
To pour out pain into
A vessel to hold it close
A holy grail to cherish
And a balm to scarred soul
The cup runneth over
The drops tinged with blood and tears
But transformed into holy water
To bless the tattered self
Healing waters come
Washing over
Bathe away the sin
Banish all the pain
Provide divine comfort
And Salvation,
And dissolve despair
With contents of this cup
Kneel down at foot of altar
Speak prayers of peace
Worship the godhead
That is self
And be reborn